Disappointment....

The life of a sports fan is rough. The ups, the downs, the all-around sensations that cause your heart to rise and sink in a matter of seconds. One of the few sensations you can feel without literally being on a roller coaster. One minute, you're high. The next, low. Insanely low, in some cases. It's a mistress that reduces grown men to sobbing, blithering idiots. And like any good mistress, the stress reliever of every situation usually involves alcohol.

I can say these things, because I'm an expert in this field. I've studied countless hours of patrons of alcohol-based establishments. And truth be told, I am a fan of such places. Everything comes from an original idea, so God bless the man that thought it would be a good idea to combine sports, beer, hot wings, and good looking ladies to bring me these things. He should be knighted at the very least.

That was off on a tangent, my bad. But sports can really mess with your emotions.

I get up early today to watch my beloved Arsenal go two goals up at halftime. I'm lovin' it at this point! I'm gettin my git on at 8:02 am on a Saturday because my favorite football team is doing work against f-ing Tottenham, our biggest rivals for the stupid, in our own house, We're supposed to hold the home fort down, but we've been a TERRIBLE home team this year...ironically, much like the number one sports team in my life, my beloved Cornhuskers. Long story short, 3 goals in the second half for the f-ing Spuds. 3 goals. 1 penalty on a dumb ass handball off a free kick from a PHANTOM foul, 1 header that should have been won in the air by Squidward [Squillaci] and 1 goal of a turnover in front of goal, and I go from dancing in my living room to bench pressing in my basement to release some rage. I wanted to cry. We lose 3-2 and look like totally fools. They are dancing in our house. I'm ready to kill someone.

Dangerous mistress, sports can be. But it will all be better when my Huskers kick the Aggies dead in the ding-a-ling. I mean wreck the so-called "wrecking crew." T-Mart, bidges! Huskers bout to get me in a better mood. But no MP for me. I gotta work today. And my Huskers are on, I don't wanna miss it. Because they gotta get me right. Arsenal, get your s%$t together. I'm not feeling this laying down at home thing. That's some mental mistakes, tighten that ish up.

Few things:
-Boise crushed Fresno. It wasn't even close. It made me think, they did that easily to even the so called good team they played. Is beating 7-2 VT really the only worthwhile thing they did this year? I'm starting to think so. Fresno was supposed to compete but it was men versus boys out there. Boise was still on the gas at 38-0, and the second team easily went down the field. That who you play argument is not going away, and I'm starting to think it holds water.

-No way does Jon Kitna put the "We'll win 11 games" curse on us only to lead us to a defeated season, and then come back to BEAT us. Lions gotta win this game. And I believe in Shaun Hill [because I basically have to. Of all my sports teams, my love for the Lions is the most abusive relationship I've ever been in. Every year, I also hold out hope]. But yeah....Shaun Hill vs Jon Kitna, BATTLE OF THE CAREER BACKUPS! We better not lose...

-Go Huskers.

I'm out.

-JK

I Wish 2Pac Was Still Here

I Wish 2Pac Was Still Here

I wish Tupac was still alive. From the complexities of a thug poet, budding actor, and truly tortured soul, I wonder what direction Tupac would be heading now. Would he be a transcendent actor, known for playing a multitude of roles, similar to Will Smith. Smith's career started with a successful rap career which he parlayed into a mega-star, featuring in summer blockbuster after the other. Or, would he stick to his musical roots? Many of Hip-Hop's founding fathers are still toiling with life after fame, suffering from meager record sales, lack of label security, and younger artists constantly attacking their elder statesmen. LL Cool J, once popular foundation of Def Jam, now deals with a lack of purchasing fanbases and even less prominent movie roles, currently plying his trade in prime time cop dramas. Or, would he have become the revolutionary figure that he strives to become? Commanding a nation of millions of young Black, and white 18-40's, 2Pac of the mid-90's preached of a distrust of government and societal norms. The radical rapper believed in many conspiracy theories that he claims was all enacted by the will of the controlling powers, a secret society called the Illuminati. Many ultimately believe that Tupac's murder was a response to his constant opposition of the Illuminati, along with his ties to the Black Panther Party.

Personally, I think the latter would be more likely. Tupac, at the height of his fame and success, began speaking out his beliefs, with a following of millions to listen to his messages, Tupac felt he had a path to enlighten his people through his influence and music. I just don't believe that a Tupac who would have been allowed to continue to live and grow would ever reduce himself to not only a heavy consumer influenced, false reality system that now rules Hip-Hop, nor would he allow himself to be silenced in society. I am somewhat comforted believing that the game would be so much different if we didn't lose Pac or B.I.G. They say that if you killed a butterfly in the past, it could completely change the future. Well, if Hip-Hop's greatest were allowed to fully flourish, we could be in a whole different place, and here's to hoping it is a better one.

Rest In Peace, Tupac Amaru Shakur.

PS. "They'll never take me alive, I'm gettin' high with my four-five,
Cocked on these suckas, time to die
Even as a youngster causin' ruckus on the back of the bus
i was a fool all through high school kickin' up dust
But now I'm labelled as a trouble maker who can you blame?
Smokin' weed helped me take away the pain
So I'm hopeless rollin' down the freeway swervin, don't worry
I'm about to crash up on the curb cause my visions blurry
Maybe if they tried to understand me, what should I do?
I had to feed my f--kin' family, what else could I do
but be a thug
out slangin' with the homies
f--k hangin' with them phonies in the club
got my mind on danger
never been a stranger to homicide
my cities full of gang bangers and drive bys
why do we die at an early age
he was so young
but still a victim of the 12 gauge
my memories of a corpse
mind full of sick thoughts
and I ain't goin back to court
so f--k what you thought I'm drinkin' hennessey
runnin from my enemies will I live to be 23
there's so much pain..." - Pain, from the Above The Rim soundtrack

-J.O.-

I said I write in this...5 months ago.

-Redirection/dedication-

The grind continues. I thought I'd be doing a lot of things right now, but it seems that my square peg plans still don't fit into the round hole. That's life, right?

I would love to say all of it is that I have tried and failed, that I balanced my time properly and in everything I tried, that I went all out, giving my best effort. Sadly, I can not say that. I've committed a common mistake. I've tried to multi-task, while not having all my best priorities highlighted. My failure to plan and follow through has doomed two projects, while my increasing schedule of trying to make ends meet has caused an idea to die. Wordtoem.com, my project and hopefully, my meal ticket, has not been focused and has stopped growing, due to the grind of making money.

So how to re-correct my heading and start over is my new project. Finishing school is now the sole priority, with Wordtoem taking a backseat for the time being. I've been in school for 2 Olympics now. I missed a chance to go to the World Cup because my funds weren't right. It would have been my second World Cup trip since I graduated high school.

Basically, it's time to grow the hell up. For the times I have failed, for everytime I've said A and did B, for everytime I've met deadline and missed deadline, for every cruel word when all that was needed was a kind one, I must turn my direction around, I must lead myself into a better future.

And I must keep writing, because in writing, my focus is maintained.

Till we meet again,
-James O.

So back to this blog...

So I'm going to start posting to this as a way to help me remember that I have a website that needs maintaining. Sorta like supplementary reading. And my boy V got his going, and he can't have a blog better than mine....so competition breeds quality, I guess! Cheers!