I Wish 2Pac Was Still Here

I Wish 2Pac Was Still Here

I wish Tupac was still alive. From the complexities of a thug poet, budding actor, and truly tortured soul, I wonder what direction Tupac would be heading now. Would he be a transcendent actor, known for playing a multitude of roles, similar to Will Smith. Smith's career started with a successful rap career which he parlayed into a mega-star, featuring in summer blockbuster after the other. Or, would he stick to his musical roots? Many of Hip-Hop's founding fathers are still toiling with life after fame, suffering from meager record sales, lack of label security, and younger artists constantly attacking their elder statesmen. LL Cool J, once popular foundation of Def Jam, now deals with a lack of purchasing fanbases and even less prominent movie roles, currently plying his trade in prime time cop dramas. Or, would he have become the revolutionary figure that he strives to become? Commanding a nation of millions of young Black, and white 18-40's, 2Pac of the mid-90's preached of a distrust of government and societal norms. The radical rapper believed in many conspiracy theories that he claims was all enacted by the will of the controlling powers, a secret society called the Illuminati. Many ultimately believe that Tupac's murder was a response to his constant opposition of the Illuminati, along with his ties to the Black Panther Party.

Personally, I think the latter would be more likely. Tupac, at the height of his fame and success, began speaking out his beliefs, with a following of millions to listen to his messages, Tupac felt he had a path to enlighten his people through his influence and music. I just don't believe that a Tupac who would have been allowed to continue to live and grow would ever reduce himself to not only a heavy consumer influenced, false reality system that now rules Hip-Hop, nor would he allow himself to be silenced in society. I am somewhat comforted believing that the game would be so much different if we didn't lose Pac or B.I.G. They say that if you killed a butterfly in the past, it could completely change the future. Well, if Hip-Hop's greatest were allowed to fully flourish, we could be in a whole different place, and here's to hoping it is a better one.

Rest In Peace, Tupac Amaru Shakur.

PS. "They'll never take me alive, I'm gettin' high with my four-five,
Cocked on these suckas, time to die
Even as a youngster causin' ruckus on the back of the bus
i was a fool all through high school kickin' up dust
But now I'm labelled as a trouble maker who can you blame?
Smokin' weed helped me take away the pain
So I'm hopeless rollin' down the freeway swervin, don't worry
I'm about to crash up on the curb cause my visions blurry
Maybe if they tried to understand me, what should I do?
I had to feed my f--kin' family, what else could I do
but be a thug
out slangin' with the homies
f--k hangin' with them phonies in the club
got my mind on danger
never been a stranger to homicide
my cities full of gang bangers and drive bys
why do we die at an early age
he was so young
but still a victim of the 12 gauge
my memories of a corpse
mind full of sick thoughts
and I ain't goin back to court
so f--k what you thought I'm drinkin' hennessey
runnin from my enemies will I live to be 23
there's so much pain..." - Pain, from the Above The Rim soundtrack

-J.O.-

I said I write in this...5 months ago.

-Redirection/dedication-

The grind continues. I thought I'd be doing a lot of things right now, but it seems that my square peg plans still don't fit into the round hole. That's life, right?

I would love to say all of it is that I have tried and failed, that I balanced my time properly and in everything I tried, that I went all out, giving my best effort. Sadly, I can not say that. I've committed a common mistake. I've tried to multi-task, while not having all my best priorities highlighted. My failure to plan and follow through has doomed two projects, while my increasing schedule of trying to make ends meet has caused an idea to die. Wordtoem.com, my project and hopefully, my meal ticket, has not been focused and has stopped growing, due to the grind of making money.

So how to re-correct my heading and start over is my new project. Finishing school is now the sole priority, with Wordtoem taking a backseat for the time being. I've been in school for 2 Olympics now. I missed a chance to go to the World Cup because my funds weren't right. It would have been my second World Cup trip since I graduated high school.

Basically, it's time to grow the hell up. For the times I have failed, for everytime I've said A and did B, for everytime I've met deadline and missed deadline, for every cruel word when all that was needed was a kind one, I must turn my direction around, I must lead myself into a better future.

And I must keep writing, because in writing, my focus is maintained.

Till we meet again,
-James O.